Hint
by Megawacky Max
Summary: The Mansion. The Guests. The Crime. The investigation. During a private dinner at Cupid's Mansion, someone becomes a Victim. Will Private Investigator Turner solve this case?
1. One lump before dinner

**-o-**

**Hint**

A Fairly Odd-Parents fic

**Written by:**  
Megawacky Max

**-o-**

**Author notes:**  
My second FoP fic. Once again, my eternal thanks to my beloved **Eve13**, who this time not only helped me with my grammar but also aided me with suggestions and corrections for this story.

**-o-**

**Chapter One  
One lump before dinner**

**I**t was a dark and stormy night.

Thunder boomed over Dimmsdale, broken by scattered lightning and offset with sudden gusts of chilly wind. Rain was falling as if Niagara Falls had moved into the city.

Something was taking place in Timmy Turner's room. Flashes of stormy light cast ghostly shadows through the open windows. There was a boy sitting on the floor, staring down with a tense scowl and scheming his next move.

Timmy grinned insanely and leapt to his feet. His index finger darted forward, where two magical beings floated gently.

"This is over!" Timmy yelled. "_Over_, you hear me? Now it's my turn!"

The boy raised a fist, lightning and thunder appearing for the sake of suspense. The magical beings known as Cosmo and Wanda moved back a little, sharing a worrying stare and trembling slightly. Just as Timmy's fist trembled as he threw down the dice.

"Hah!" said Timmy. He moved his figurine on the board and smirked triumphantly: "It was Sgt. Pepper, in the Strawberry Field, with Lucy's diamond necklace!"

Cosmo and Wanda gasped. Cosmo then checked his notes and said, "Jinkies, you're right!"

"You've won!" smiled Wanda.

"Yes!" shouted Timmy as he raised both arms in victory, then withered like a flower in winter. "_How boring!_"

Timmy sighed and sat on the floor.

"Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry, but with this weather there's not much you can do," cooed Wanda.

"Yes, my parents told me I shouldn't use the TV or my videogames in this weather if I don't want them to get ruined by a lightning bolt, blah, blah, blah," Timmy admitted, annoyed. "Are you sure I can't wish the rain to be gone?"

"Nuh-unh, sorry," Cosmo said. "We've been forbidden to mess with weather since your mom was the weather newscaster."

"Right, but… not even rain?" asked Timmy, hopeful.

"I'm sorry," apologized Wanda, then brightened up again. "Why don't we play _'Hint'_ again?"

"It's so boring!" scowled Timmy. "I've won the last thirty games, and no wonder; you don't like board games and Cosmo always gets them confused."

"I do not!" scowled Cosmo. He took the dice, threw them, smiled, and yelled, "_Jumanji!_"

"See?" murmured Timmy. Wanda just nodded in agreement.

"Maybe I didn't say it loud enough," said Cosmo, and repeated: "_JUMANJI!_"

There was a loud poof and Cupid appeared in Timmy's room.

"Hey, it worked!" cried Cosmo, thrilled.

"Cupid! What are you doing here?" asked Wanda.

"It's not Valentines Day," scowled Timmy. "Where were you when I was near Trixie?"

"Trixie?" asked Cupid. "Didn't you mean _Tootie_?"

"No, no, no!" Timmy panicked.

"Neeeeevermind... I am here to invite your Godparents to a private dinner in my brand new mansion," smiled Cupid, handing over a couple of pink cards to both Cosmo and Wanda. Cosmo took his and beamed.

"Hey, cool! _'You are cordially invited to Cupid's Private Dinner to witness an astonishing announcement. Come tonight to Cupid's Mansion at All You Need Is Love St., Penny Lane, Fairy World. You may bring a guest'_." Cosmo examined the card and felt disappointed. "Hey, this doesn't rhyme…"

"What is this announcement about?" inquired Wanda.

"Oh, it's top-secret!" Cupid smiled, raising his chin in a proud gesture. "It involves next Valentines Day and, I must say, the chance of selecting a lucky boy or girl who will have a fool-proof Valentines Wish, but no more hinting about it."

Timmy immediately thought on Trixie Tang.

"If you wish to know more, then come tonight to my Mansion. See ya!" and Cupid vanished.

"Well, a private dinner! That's some event!" smiled Wanda as she read her card over again.

"A Valentines Wish!" moaned Timmy. "Oh, I wouldn't mind having a fool-proof wish to use with Trixie. I know you can't mess with True Love, but perhaps a fool-proof wish could!"

Wanda's smile flickered. "Timmy, sweetheart, even that would be playing with an advantage…"

"And what else would you expect! Would Trixie ever pay proper attention to me normally?"

Wanda opened her mouth, then closed it. "All right, you have a point."

"Jumanji!" Cosmo yelled at the card. Everybody ignored him.

"It says we are allowed to bring a guest," said Wanda. "Maybe we could bring Timmy, and then he'll be told of the announcement along with us?"

"Or we can invite Phil!" said Cosmo, showing up his shiny nickel. "Gleam if you mean yes, Phil!"

"_OR_, we could bring Timmy!" Wanda stared dangerously at her husband, who cowered and muttered a lame "Yes, sweetie…"

"A dinner at Cupid's Mansion," smiled Timmy. "Well, that should be much better than another game of Hint."

As for giving a clue, thunder and lightning sealed his words.

**-o-**

_**P**LUM!_ Cosmo, Wanda and Timmy popped up in front of Cupid's Mansion. They were dressed elegantly.

"Jumanji!" yelled Cosmo.

"Quit that, moron!" complained Wanda. "Now, let's go in…"

They rang the doorbell at the gates. A melody that sounded like birds chirping cheerfully was heard. Seconds later, Cupid answered.

"Ah, Cosmo, Wanda! And Timmy too, I see. Come in, come in… You are the first ones to arrive," he said, allowing his guests in the house.

The mansion was huge. Being one of the most popular Fairies had its advantages. Timmy looked in awe the splendid lobby, very wide and tall and with a main staircase leading to the upper floors. Everything was painted in tones of pink, but since Timmy was used to that color he actually liked it.

"Please, make yourselves at home, be comfortable!" said Cupid.

"Thanks!" said Cosmo, and burped. "What?" he said in response to his wife's deadly stare.

"The rest of the guests shall be coming soon," added Cupid. "In the meantime, why don't you explore the-"

The bird doorbell was heard again.

"_Oh_, excuse me, please!" said Cupid, and vanished. His guest remained in silence, admiring the surroundings. Cosmo burped again and made noises with his armpit.

"Would you stop that, _please_?" irked Wanda.

"He said we could feel at home!" Cosmo protested.

"You have to have manners, don't you see? We're hardly ever invited to events like this, and when we do you end up spoiling it all!" Wanda said, perhaps a bit more loudly that she should.

Timmy noticed his Godparents were heating up.

"Hey, listen…" he said, but Cosmo spoke louder.

"What! Me? Why you blame me of everything?"

"Why not, you see someone _else_ around?" retorted Wanda.

"Ah! You mark my words!" said Cosmo, pointing an accusing finger at her: "One day you will be bonked on the head, and then don't you come looking for my help!"

"Hah! Why would somebody bonk me on the head?" protested Wanda. "If I ever get bonked on the head it'd probably be because _you_ hit me by accident!"

"_JUMANJI!_"

"And _QUIT_ that!"

"Quiet, quiet!" said Timmy. "Somebody's coming!"

Cosmo and Wanda turned immediately to the entrance gateway and smiled like a couple of morons (Cosmo looked natural). In that moment, Cupid returned with a couple of guests.

"You are the second ones to arrive," he was saying. "How could I ever plan this important dinner without the merry presence of the Tooth Fairy?"

Cosmo and Timmy gasped. The Tooth Fairy appeared at the entrance wearing a breath-taking cyan dress. Wanda was about to protest, but she also gasped when spotting the Tooth Fairy's guest.

"Wandissimo!" she said.

Wearing tight black jeans and equally tight white shirt, Wandissimo the macho fairy bowed to Wanda, taking her hand and kissing the back of it.

"_Ah, Wanda!_ What a pleasant surprise!" he said. "Will you be joining us for dinner?"

"Yes, she will," snapped Cosmo, floating past Wanda and bringing Wandissimo with him. "With _me_, you see."

"Ah, yes, Cosmo," grinned Wandissimo. "How are you?"

"Quite fine. And if you don't mind…"

The doorbell rang again. Cupid apologized to his guests and disappeared one more time.

There was a slight tension in the air as the guests were left alone. Cosmo felt Wandissimo's calm grin as an invitation to kick puppies. Timmy walked around, looking worried. Wanda floated toward the Tooth Fairy.

"Hello," she said, looking over her shoulder. "My, why is Wandissimo with you? I thought you and Jorgen…"

The implacable smile of the Tooth Fairy vanished. "Oh, but I meant to invite him instead! Only I could not locate him. And since, well, he insisted…"

They stared at Cosmo and Wandissimo. The latter just kept grinning, something he knew made Cosmo angry, and so far it was doing a great job. Timmy walked over to the female fairies.

"This is not good," he said. "With Wandissimo around this will surely become an interesting night."

Wanda sighed. "Well, at least it can't get worse…"

"_What is the meaning of this!_" roared a brutal, booming German-accented voice from the entrance gateway. Timmy, Wanda and the Tooth Fairy's hairs blew to the front with the explosion of sound.

"_Oh_…" said Timmy without looking back.

"… _Not_…" said Wanda without looking back.

"… _Him_," finished the Tooth Fairy without looking back.

They turned in time to see Jorgen Von Strangle, wearing a black tuxedo and heading toward the Tooth Fairy.

"Where were you?" he asked her. "I've been trying to contact you to invite you to this dinner! I even pulled one of my teeth to catch your attention!" he protested, opening his mouth and showing an empty slot.

"Oh, my!" said the Tooth Fairy, sending a hand to her mouth. After a couple of seconds she said "Did you remember to put it under your pillow?"

Jorgen's eyes widened in surprise.

"That seems to be a big space in your mouth, señor," smiled Wandissimo, approaching. "I suggest a gold tooth. Muy macho."

"And I suggest you explain yourself!" Jorgen returned to his old self… less one tooth. "Why are you taking my lady to this dinner?"

"Oh, _yo_, señor?" Wandissimo smiled and buffed his fingernails on his tight chest. "It happens that your lady invited me."

Jorgen sent a quick glance at the Tooth Fairy, who scowled and put her hands on her waist. "Well, I _tried_ to find you first, but you were nowhere to be found."

Jorgen shifted uneasily. "Ah, yes, I was pulling my tooth…"

"Oh, now, now," said Cupid, floating down graciously between Jorgen and the Tooth Fairy. "Let's not worry about these small details, lady, gentleman. By the way, did you bring a guest, Jorgen?"

"Yes. Him," Jorgen pointed to the gateway, where everybody glanced … and then gasped.

"Greetings, fellow Fairies," smiled Anti-Cosmo, sipping from his cup. "Tea?"

"Jorgen, why did you bring an Anti-Fairy!" Timmy panicked.

"Because he insisted," said Jorgen, avoiding Timmy's eyes.

"And because he had no-one else," smiled Anti-Cosmo, sipping again.

At that, Jorgen's lip quivered. He fell on his knees, his hands covering his tear-ripping face.

"_It's true!_" he cried. "I have no friends! I tried asking other Fairies but they ran away at the sight of my bulging biceps! I had to choose one of the Anti-Fairies!"

"My pleasure," grinned Anti-Cosmo.

As the Tooth Fairy hugged Jorgen at the sound of "Oh, poor big teddy-combat-bear…" Anti-Cosmo approached the others.

"Good evening, then," he said, his smile never fading. "Ah, yes… Timmy Turner. Wandissimo. Cosmo… Wanda," his eyebrows rose as he spoke her name with a strange emphasis.

"Hey!" said the other three males, annoyed.

"Hmph!" said Wanda. "How is Anti-Wanda, then?"

"Oh, opposite of you, of course. i.e. she's a twit, but a twit I love. Not that I wouldn't, I don't know, exchange her for a better deal?"

"_HEY!_" repeated the other three males, now really annoyed. Anti-Cosmo got the message.

"Fine, fine," he said indifferently.

"It seems we all are here," claimed Cupid. "This private dinner was meant for only a very few, well-selected representatives of the Fairy World. And their guests, of course. Dinner will be served in half an hour. In the meantime, I invite you all to enjoy yourselves. Explore the Mansion! There's a recreation room right across that hall."

Cosmo and Timmy did indeed look in that direction.

"I shall summon you for dinner in half an hour. Until then," said Cupid, and disappeared.

The guests remained in place, staring at each other for what could be called looks of truce, not that it meant they would keep the truce for long.

"Well, I could deal with that recreation room," Timmy broke the ice. "Maybe there are videogames," he said, not much convinced.

"I will go check if Cupid has enough floss in his bathroom," claimed the Tooth Fairy.

"I shall see if I find a mirror big enough," said Wandissimo. "I haven't stared at my _hermoso_ self for twenty long minutes."

"I'll go look for something to read," said Wanda, a bit exhausted. "There should be a library around here somewhere…"

"Oh, I'll go check the porcelain," said Anti-Cosmo, smiling. "You can't have a proper tea without proper cups."

"I'll be watching over every one of your minuscule movements," warned Jorgen.

They all stared at Cosmo, the remaining guest who hasn't announced what he was going to do.

Cosmo noticed the attention he had gathered… stared at nothing in particular, smiled… and said:

"_Jumanji!_"

**-o-**

**E**verybody had disappeared to the places they had claimed they'd be. Wanda sighed and tried to find a room with books and a good armchair to relax in and have a nice read.

She explored a bit the main halls, realizing the Mansion was indeed big. Nothing interesting so far. Wanda entered and went past several rooms: the living-room, where she spotted Wandissimo staring at his reflection on a wall mirror, the dining-room, where Anti-Cosmo was indeed examining a cupboard full of nice teacups; the bathroom, where the Tooth Fairy was replacing Cupid's toothpaste and mouthwash; the side hall, where Jorgen was lost and looking for Anti-Cosmo; and finally the recreation room, where Timmy was complaining about a boring game of darts.

And she still couldn't find the library. Door after door, she only found random rooms with random content, and time was running out. Oh, well, she'd have to do without reading. Maybe she should—

There was a strange sound from behind. A shadow covered Wanda. She turned and gasped.

"What are you—!" she cried in panic.

There was a loud banging noise… immediately followed by the sound of a body hitting the floor.

**-o-**

"**W**here is Wanda?" asked Cupid as he sat at the head of the dinner table. Everybody heard the dinner bell and hurried to the dining room, except for Wanda. "It's been ten minutes already. Has anybody seen her?"

They all agreed one thing: Wanda had visited all of them in different rooms.

"You don't think something could have happened to her, right?" asked Timmy.

"_Nah_, she knows how to take care of herself," said Cosmo, smiling widely.

"I wouldn't want to think something actually happened to her!" said Wandissimo, adding over-acted movements and gestures. His shirt ripped and vanished with two particularly exaggerated motions. "Maybe I should look for her…"

"I wouldn't mind slipping away as well," grinned Anti-Cosmo. Jorgen sent him a dangerous glance.

"Then I will go with you, little being," he boomed. "You almost escaped from me when I was supposed to watch over you before."

"Hey, hey, hold on! She's _my_ wife, and if you worry for her then I worry the most!" retorted Cosmo, his smile vanishing.

"Then please hurry up and find her, will you?" said Cupid, "Dinner will be delayed…"

All the guests left the table simultaneously, and crowded into the main lobby.

"We will have to split up in order to search widely," said Anti-Cosmo.

"What, and let you alone, on your own? No way!" protested Jorgen.

"And I don't want to let him alone, either!" said Cosmo, pointing accusingly to Wandissimo. "He'll probably take advantage if he finds Wanda first!"

"Calm down, everybody!" said Timmy, annoyed. "We should stay together until we find—!"

"_Aaaahhhhh!_" yelled the Tooth Fairy all of a sudden, startling everybody. "Look… _there_!"

She pointed at the nearby sofa. There, laying on it, was Wanda.

Unconscious. With a large lump on her head.

"My wife!" cried Cosmo. "She was… _bonked_ on the head!"

"All right, who did that?" snapped Jorgen.

"Not me," said Timmy.

"Don't look at me," smiled Anti-Cosmo.

"I wouldn't dare!" claimed Wandissimo.

"I wouldn't do such a thing!" sniffed the Tooth Fairy.

"_Jumaaaanjiiiiiiiii!_" wept Cosmo to the ceiling, falling on his knees and extending his arms in Wanda's direction.

Cupid appeared at the wail and noises and gasped upon spotting Wanda on the sofa. He hurried to her side and checked her pulse.

"She'll be fine, but that lump will keep her out for some time," he confided.

"Who did this!" Timmy yelled, angry, turning to the guests. "Who bonked my Godmother on the head?"

They all stared at each other. Suspicion saturated every pair of eyes.

"I suspect Anti-Cosmo," said Jorgen.

"Well, I suspect Cosmo," Anti-Cosmo said, smiling. "He's so dumb he probably bonked his own wife by accident."

"Yes, I also suspect Cosmo," said Wandissimo, his eyes revealed other, more meaningful reasons.

"Hey, _hey_! Well, I suspect Wandissimo!" said Cosmo. "Or… Or perhaps Anti-Cosmo… Right?"

"I don't like Anti-Cosmo much, and Wandissimo seems too good for what happened," said the Tooth Fairy.

"Well, you were jealous of Wanda," said Wandissimo with a smile.

"How dare you!"

"Yes, I heard you whisper you wanted that dress she wears…"

"Oh, yes?" said Jorgen. "Then now I also suspect Wandissimo for putting my beloved one in evidence!"

"Jorgen!" said the Tooth Fairy.

The suspects flew like wild geese in winter. Timmy looked around. Everybody suspected everybody else, and the only witness was laying on the sofa, out cold.

"_SILENCE!_" yelled Timmy. They all obeyed, save for Cosmo and one last cry of "Jumanji!" before remaining quiet.

"_Listen_," said Timmy, "we won't get anywhere if we complain like this! We need to perform an investigation, okay?" and the idea crept into his brain. "Right!" he said, "this is just like _'Hint'_!"

He looked around. The Mansion. The Guests. The Dinner. The Victim… All they needed now was…

"Cosmo, I _wish I was a Private Investigator_!"

Cosmo raised his wand and with a large _ELEMENTARY, WATSON_ puff of smoke, Timmy's clothes changed. He was wearing a brown overcoat, brown hat, and bubble-pipe.

"Adequate," Anti-Cosmo conceded.

"Attention, everyone," said Timmy, walking around and blowing bubbles. "I am Private Investigator Turner."

"Can we call you _'PIT'_?" wondered Cosmo.

"No, you can't. Now, I am resolved to discover who made that lump on my Godmother's head. I shall give you a chance to redeem yourselves. Tell me who did it and I shall be merciful."

"HE (SHE) DID IT!" cried everyone, pointing to everyone else.

"Right," sighed Timmy. "Nobody leaves this Mansion until I solve this."

That was a grave mistake. Jorgen's hand rose up unwillingly, producing his huge wand out of thin air and casting a blast of light that gleamed on every window and door of the Mansion.

"What _was_ that?" asked Timmy, startled.

"How witty of you!" yelled Jorgen. "You accidentally cast a Security Wish and I was forced to grant it! Now all the windows and doors are magically locked until you solve this mystery, puny little kid!"

Timmy gulped at the stares of hatred coming from everyone. "Okay, okay! Then I better start with this, uhm… Who did you say suspected?"

"HIM (HER)!" they all said, pointing at two different suspects each.

"_Right_," said Timmy, sighing. "This is not gonna be easy…"

**-o-o-o-**

**(To Be Continued...) **


	2. Finding the culprit

**-o-o-o-**

**Chapter Two  
Finding the culprit**

**T**he guests and potential culprits were all sitting down in the living-room of Cupid's mansion. Each of them sent menacing stares to at least another one of the guests. Private Investigator Turner walked in circles in the middle of the room, thinking.

He gave a quick side peek at Wanda, still unconscious and resting peacefully on the same sofa she was found. Cosmo insisted on avoiding moving her from that spot, so they brought the entire sofa from the lobby. Next to the victim, Cosmo took care of her. Sort of, since although he had a serious attitude, his tongue stuck out and his sight focused on his hands, which were currently tangled together after a bad game of cat's cradle.

Timmy sighed. At least he wasn't playing with finger-traps.

"Very well," said Timmy, stopping and turning to the guests, "in order to find out the culprit I will need your testimonies. You will have to tell us where you have been and what were you doing in the gap of time since we were dismissed by Cupid until the moment we gathered for dinner. Well?"

The suspects stared at each other, except for Cosmo, who only had eyes and brain for his tangled hands. Maybe just eyes, Timmy mentally amended.

"_Ahem_," said the Tooth Fairy, "I would like to talk first." Timmy nodded, so she began: "As I said, I went to the bathroom to make sure Cupid had enough floss. I got a bit carried away and also examined his toothpaste and mouthwash. While I was in the bathroom three other persons walked in, but none of them actually used the bathroom."

"Interesting," said Timmy. "Who were those Fairies?"

"_Well_, first was Wanda herself. We exchanged a quick greeting and she claimed she was looking for the library. The second one was Cosmo; he actually asked for Wanda and so I told him she was looking for the library. He seemed… happy that she wasn't around."

Timmy's eyes slowly turned toward Cosmo, still lost in his own world of fantasy.

"The third Fairy," the Tooth Fairy continued, "was Jorgen. He claimed he was looking for Anti-Cosmo because he had slipped away. I told him I had no idea where could he be and then Jorgen left at once."

Jorgen, his muscular arms folded over his muscular chest, gave a muscular nod.

Timmy also nodded. "Right. That sounds—"

"_False_," smiled Anti-Cosmo.

"How dare you doubt my beloved Tooth Fairy?" snapped Jorgen, sending daggers at Anti-Cosmo.

"Jorgen, _Jorgen_!" said Timmy, waving arms. "He's in his rights, if he so wishes. Once he tells us his version of the facts we shall know—"

"All right, I understand!" snapped Jorgen. "Let's see what _you_ have to say, Anti-Dork…"

"Wha?" said Cosmo, returning from wherever his mind had drifted to and raising his head to pay attention.

"Very well…" Anti-Cosmo sipped from his bottomless cup of tea and began his narration. "I had announced I was going to be looking for the porcelain because, really, you can't possibly have a decent cup of tea without a decent cup itself. Jorgen followed me all the time, of course; but things changed once I found what I was looking for.

"_The porcelain cupboard!_" he almost moaned. "Cupid's best porcelain cups were all stored in one cabinet, it was almost like a visit to a museum—which I never have had, incidentally—so I just stood there, taking in the marvelous view. If I ever plotted on slipping between Jorgen's paws, I promise, the sight of those gleaming teacups, small dishes and, _oh_, the spotless _teapot_" and here Anti-Cosmo removed his monocle to dry a lone teardrop, "made me stay in place."

"Well, then, what's your point?" asked Timmy.

"My point is, I never left the spot. But Jorgen _did_."

"What!" barked Jorgen.

"Oh, certainly," Anti-Cosmo sipped more tea, probably to hide half of his huge grin. "Did you perhaps think I wasn't paying attention to you as well? My, what a grave mistake, sir. When you noticed I was so, ahem, _focused_ on the porcelain, you just tip-toed away and left the room. Clearly you set one of those Security Wishes upon the door after you were out. You did not want me to leave, but, then again, why would you be looking for me, if you _always knew_ where I was?"

"That's not true!" said Jorgen, though his voice had became slightly girlish. "I mean… He ran away!"

Timmy scowled at Jorgen. He wasn't making such a good attempt at hiding something.

"Jorgen, what if you tell us what you did in that gap of time?" asked Timmy.

Jorgen would have refused to give any explanation to any puny little kid, but this particular puny little kid had accidentally cast a Security Wish all over the mansion, and so he would have to cooperate until the whole mystery was over.

"All right…" he said, "this is what happened:

"I was indeed watching over Anti-Cosmo, but now that I knew the Tooth Fairy had been looking for me I just wanted to… go and _apologize_," he snarled, probably unused to the word _'apologize'_ used by himself. "There, see? I just left Anti-Cosmo while I looked for the Tooth Fairy."

"That doesn't make sense, big fellow," grinned Anti-Cosmo. "Your beloved Tooth Fairy said you indeed appeared in the bathroom, but I don't recall any apologies."

"Hah! I said I _wanted_ to apologize. I didn't say it was easy for me to actually _do_ it!" complained Jorgen, his forehead a small curtain of bead drops.

"Oh, yes?" smiled Wandissimo. "And why don't you tell us why you were looking for me, señor?"

They all stared at him.

"Looking for you?" asked Timmy, confused. "Why would he—"

"_Jealousy_, mi amigo!" said Wandissimo. "Ever since he knew I came with the Tooth Fairy he sent dangerous glares at el pobre de mí!" he said, with a dramatic pose with his eyes closed and the back of his right hand on his forehead. The left tore a portion of his shirt from over his heart, which was instantly replaced.

"Wandissimo, I would like to remind you this is not an investigation to know if Jorgen was jealous of you, but to discover who bonked Wanda on the head," said Timmy.

"Oh, but it _does_ matter, señor!" said Wandissimo. "It does matter, because… you see… _It could have happened to me_."

"What?" said many of the people in the room.

Wandissimo sent a side-look at Jorgen. "Oh, but I do not know if I should really tell. Jorgen wouldn't like that, eh?"

They stared at Jorgen. He had his eyes half-closed at Wandissimo and his teeth fused together with rage. The missing tooth was like a window in a white granite wall.

"Justice is blind," Timmy shrugged. "I need to hear it all."

"Muy bien, señor," said Wandissimo. "It all started when…

"… when I was admiring my beautiful self on that large mirror, right in this same room." They all noticed the big mirror hanging from one of the walls. "Well, then, I was appreciating my amazing beauty when I saw Wanda's shadow on the reflection. I turned to greet her, but she had already left the room. I could have gone after her, I admit it," and here Cosmo said _'Hey!'_, "but I didn't. I preferred to keep my eyes on myself. Then, in the reflection, I saw Wanda's shadow again. I could recognize her hair. Oddly she was heading the same direction again, but when I turned I noticed I wasn't alone. Isn't that right, Jorgen?"

They all stared at Jorgen, who was slightly pale.

"Just a friendly chat, nothing else," he said in low voice.

"Which contained the words _'You leave the Tooth Fairy alone, or you shall taste these knuckles'_," smiled Wandissimo.

"Jorgen!" snapped the Tooth Fairy. Jorgen startled at her voice and actually cringed a little.

"I told him that, if the Tooth Fairy had chosen me instead of him, then it wasn't really my problem," said Wandissimo. "Oh, el error!" he added, again with great drama. "That ignited the fuse of wrath in our beloved and admired Jorgen Von Strangle! I saw him produce his wand, possibly to bonk me on the head. So I managed a quick escape and went absent-mindedly down the hall I had seen Wanda's shadow go. I knew Jorgen was after me, so I hid in a room at random. He went past me and, when I turned to leave, I heard a girly scream and a loud _bonking_ noise!"

They all stared at Jorgen, who seemed sick.

"I didn't want to stay. Oh, sí, that was _my_ mistake," said Wandissimo, "but I just returned to the living-room. Moments later, the dinner bell rang."

"Jorgen!" said Timmy, Cosmo and the Tooth Fairy. "Is that true?" said the latter, immediately.

"Nope," said Jorgen. It was the lamest lie to come from his lips.

"_Jorgen_…" the Tooth Fairy managed such a sour tone it made everyone else's lips contract.

Suddenly, Jorgen Von Strangle burst into tears.

"It was all dark!" he cried. "I was jealous of Wandissimo for having been selected by my beloved Tooth Fairy, so I left Anti-Cosmo alone while I looked for him! Then I chased him wanting to give him a good bonk on the head, and when I thought I had found him… I swung my wand and bonked _someone_ on the head!"

"And that wasn't me," said Wandissimo.

"Then I could see, on the very dim light, the shape of poor little Wanda laying on the floor!" Jorgen wept in the same way as he always did things: strongly. "I got scared and returned to the dining-room, where Anti-Cosmo was! I left Wanda in that room, alone and injured!"

"Why, you!" Cosmo snapped. He flew right at Jorgen and punched his face. "_Ouch!_" he complained.

"Sorry, little being," said Jorgen, sobbing. "My face is hard as steel."

"I can see that," said Cosmo, rubbing his aching knuckles and setting his fingers. "_Feel_ that, too."

Timmy sighed. "I'm sorry, Jorgen, but Justice is equal to everyone. I declare you the culprit of—"

"Hey, wait!" said the Tooth Fairy all of a sudden. "Jorgen, did you say you left Wanda in that room?"

"Yes…" Jorgen said. He was holding a little pink silk tissue against his eyes.

"Then how could she appear in the lobby?" wondered the Tooth Fairy. "Someone must have moved her."

Timmy hadn't thought on that. "But who?" he asked. "I mean, if the one who moved Wanda didn't actually bonk her, why wouldn't he or she say so?"

"Aaaah, that is some mystery!" said Cosmo all of a sudden, smiling.

They all turned to him. Jorgen scowled.

"Hey, hold it!" he said, suddenly serious. "You haven't told us what you did in the gap of time!"

"Oh! Ah! D-Didn't I!" said Cosmo. He was starting to sweat. "What's the problem? We just solved the case – you bonked her, right?"

Timmy definitely found a tone of disconcerting guilt in his Godfather's voice.

"Cosmo," he said, "didn't you mention to Wanda, just before the second guests came in, that one day she would be bonked on the head?"

"What! You are suspecting _me_!" gasped Cosmo.

"Well, you had a small argument, and…"

"I didn't do it!" said Cosmo. "I didn't bring Wanda from that far room full of unpacked boxes to the sofa in the lobby!"

Wandissimo grinned. "It's funny how you knew of the room before anybody said anything?"

"Wha! I! Uhm! Ah!"

"Cosmo!" said Timmy, terrified. "You didn't do it! Not you!"

"I demand a lawyer!" cried Cosmo.

"_I wish you'd tell us the truth_!" said Timmy.

"Aw, yuk…" Cosmo raised his wand, closed his eyes tightly, and let the magic hit him with a poof that sounded like _VERITASERUM_. His eyes opened and were blank, surely in trance.

"Very well," said Timmy, slowly, almost regretting what he was about to ask: "Did you bring Wanda to the sofa?"

And Cosmo replied: "Yes. I did."

"No!" said Timmy.

"But I didn't bonk her on the head," said Cosmo, still in trance. "I was looking for her and I found her laying on the floor. I didn't want people to find me with her in that state because of the previous argument, so I panicked and just brought her to the lobby."

"Oh! But of course, you didn't bonk her," said Timmy. "Jorgen did. He already admitted it…"

But Jorgen was suddenly serious. "Wait a minute! Cosmo, you mentioned a room with _unpacked boxes_?" Cosmo nodded. "How is that possible? I bonked Wanda in a different room! There were no unpacked boxes, just old furniture!"

"What the…?" asked Timmy. "This is getting really confusing…"

"Uhmmm," said Wandissimo. "Jorgen bonks Wanda on the head in one room. Cosmo brings Wanda to the lobby from a different room. Bizarro".

"It's insane! There's only one Wanda!" said Timmy, and then realized his words. He turned immediately to Anti-Cosmo, who grinned innocently.

"Tea?" he offered. A true act of desperation.

"Anti-Cosmo, I _really_ doubt you and Anti-Wanda could be separated for so long," Timmy said. "Where is she?"

"Oh! She's in the Anti-Fairy prison, of course! Far, far away…"

The flowerpot on the little table behind of him sneezed.

"Bless you, my silly sweetie," said Anti-Cosmo. "_Drat_…" he added almost immediately.

"Heeeey!" said Jorgen, approaching the flowerpot and taking it in a single powerful grip. "What is this?" he said, turning the flowerpot upside-down and shaking it violently. A blue body fell to the floor.

"Aw, don't pay attention to the bonked Anti-Fairy on the floor…" it said.

"Anti-Wanda!" yelled everyone. Anti-Wanda was on the floor, and she had a large lump on her head.

"Anti-Cosmo, explain yourself!" said Timmy.

"Oh, well," Anti-Cosmo rolled his eyes. "So, fine, Jorgen invited me as a guest, but I brought a guest of my own. Anti-Wanda slipped away when Jorgen allowed me out. He didn't notice because I mentioned his missing tooth and he turned to check how bad it looked."

"Why, you!" said Jorgen.

"Anti-Wanda followed after us from that point on. I just needed one moment to allow her into the mansion, and I had my chance when Jorgen left me alone in the dining-room."

"That's impossible!" said Jorgen. "I locked the door!"

"She flew in through the _window_," smiled Anti-Cosmo.

Jorgen's eyes opened wide. He sure felt like a moron.

"Okay, I admit it!" spoke Anti-Wanda. "Once I was in I wanted to look for the fridge, 'cause I was kinda hungry, see? But I got lost."

"Impossible!" said Jorgen, extra loudly to draw attention away from forgetting to lock down the windows. "I locked the door, I said!"

"The dining-room door, my dear fellow," grinned Anti-Cosmo. "The kitchen door was wide open, and there are more exits that way."

"Ack! Could you two _quit_ making me look like a fool?" protested Jorgen.

"Hold it!" said Timmy. "She was looking for the fridge and she exited through the _kitchen_?"

"Ah, Turner, you should already know my wife is a twit," Anti-Cosmo sighed affectionately.

"I got lost, I said," grinned Anti-Wanda. "I explored the place a-bit. I saw that hunk in the living-room," she pointed at Wandissimo, "and then I went into a room full of old furniture. Then I heard someone behind of me, so I turned and I saw this huge wand coming straight to my head."

"Oops…" muttered Jorgen. "When I saw she had buck teeth I thought I had hit her too hard…"

"Anyway… Couple moments later I woke up and returned here. My Anti-Cosmo saw me first and stuffed me inside that flowerpot, hoping to get ourselves out as soon as… as… What was that, again?"

"As soon as Turner solved the mystery and all the magical locks on the doors and windows were off," finished Anti-Cosmo.

Jorgen was suddenly delighted. "Then that means I actually bonked an Anti-Fairy! I did good, even by mistake! _Wheehaa_!"

"But that means…" said Timmy, slowly, "that, if you didn't bonk my Godmother… Who did it?"

They all stared at Cosmo, who has placed himself away the group and was now looking around, anxious and not in trance anymore.

"Cosmo!" they yelled. Cosmo got startled.

"What?" he startled.

"Someone here is lying, amigo," smiled Wandissimo.

"Well that's not me! I already said I didn't do it, even under a Say-The-Truth wish!" Cosmo's nervousness increased.

"You only told us you brought Wanda from the room to the lobby. What did you do before that?" asked Anti-Cosmo, still in his right to accuse.

Cosmo was trembling. Everybody's gazes were upon him. Suddenly, he snapped.

"All right! All right! I wanted to teach Wanda a lesson!" he said.

"No!" said Timmy, unable to believe him.

"He's admitted it!" said Jorgen. "Let's get him!"

"_Ahhh_!" yelled Cosmo, and began to run away, the other three male Fairies after him. Timmy approached the Tooth Fairy and Anti-Wanda.

"I can't believe this! Cosmo!" he said, astonished. "It can't be…"

"_OohhhhHHHhhhhh_…"

Timmy blinked and turned to fainted Wanda, who wasn't faint anymore. She was waking.

"Wanda!" smiled Timmy. "Hey, you guys, quit that! Wanda's coming to!"

They stopped, which was good because Jorgen had Cosmo firmly gripped in one fist and was smacking him with the other. Wandissimo and Anti-Cosmo were betting on it. Everybody in the room hurried toward Wanda, who had opened her eyes and was blinking as she adjusted to Reality.

"Wha… Uhhh… _Aw_, my headdd…" she moaned.

"Wanda! Can you see me?" asked Timmy.

"Yes, yes… I… _AH!_" she said all of a sudden, jumping up. She was well awake, now. "I was bonked on the head! _Ouch!_" she added as she prodded on her head and found the lump.

"This is important, Wanda. Did you see who did it?" asked Timmy.

"Yes… _yes_…" she said. Her eyes scanned the people surrounding her… until her eyes met the culprit.

She scowled in fury. Her arm darted forward and pointed straight at the culprit.

"_YOU!_" she yelled, irked. "You did it!"

The suspects followed the direction of her accusing finger… to the figure standing in the doorframe behind them. A figure wearing a cook apron and a stereotyped cook hat, grasping a large, wooden spoon. The hat almost, but not quite, covered the small tower of curled, cyan hair.

"Momma!" gasped Cosmo.

"Momma Cosma!" yelled the others.

"Oh, rats, there goes my plan," she groaned, her eyes narrowed, her arms on her hips. "Show's over, people."

"But… but… why!" asked Timmy.

"What else?" said Mom Cosmo. "To get my sweetie-pie away from that moron!"

"Away from me?" asked Anti-Wanda, curious.

"Of course not, dear," Mom Cosmo smiled tenderly at her, then pointed angrily at Wanda. "Away from _her_, I mean!"

"What, by making us fight?" asked Cosmo, annoyed.

"Well, the original plan was to add something nasty to her soup, but after I heard you two arguing I thought a good bonk would do the trick," she said sweetly, swinging her large wooden spoon in a demonstrative fashion.

"What nerve you have!" said Wanda. "And I suppose Cupid is involved as well, just like when you two plotted that Valentines Show!"

They all stared at Cupid, who had been ignored this far. He just smiled. "Hey, love is love, but money is money."

"That means there never was a special Valentines Wish?" asked Timmy, annoyed.

"Nope," said Cupid. Timmy wished to be the culprit, all of a sudden. At least then he would have a nice blunt instrument like a lead pipe ready and waiting in his hands.

"Does this mean this whole dinner was an excuse?" asked Jorgen, also annoyed.

"Uhmmm… Yes?" said Cupid. One thing was to say it to Timmy, but Jorgen was… well… Jorgen.

And he was smiling wildly, all of a sudden.

"All right!" he said. "That's it for formality! This dinner needed entertainment!" and he cracked his knuckles. Cupid and Momma Cosmo gulped on cue.

**-o-**

**"A**ll's well that ends well," said Cosmo as they enjoyed dinner in Cupid's Mansion.

"It wouldn't have been well at all if your mother had succeeded," scowled Wanda. She had a couple of band-aids on her lump in addition to a comically large block of ice. "What a woman, she's always trying to break us apart."

"Like if I could actually hurt you," cooed Cosmo.

"Hey, didn't you admit wanting to give your wife a lesson?" smirked Wandissimo.

"Ah, uuh…" said Cosmo.

Everybody in the dining room stared at him.

"That's right!" said Jorgen. "You didn't tell us where you had been in that gap of time!"

"Cosmo!" said Wanda, her eyes menacing.

"Oh, All right… If you need to know…" said Cosmo, and floated next to Wanda. "After our argument I thought I could show my wife I do care for her, so I took advantage of our free time to buy something for her."

He handed her a bunch of roses and a heart-shaped box of chocolates.

"_Awwww, Cosmo!_" Wanda's eyes sparkled. "You didn't need to!"

"I know!" said Cosmo. "I bought them with your money."

"Ack!" She snatched the presents and crashed them on his head. "But _still_…" she added, and her eyes were sparkly again as she hugged him.

"Well, that's it for the mystery," said Timmy, helping himself to more Loveburgers (which were really only heart-shaped hamburgers, of course). "What ever happened to the Anti-Fairies, anyway?"

"Oh, they returned to prison," said Jorgen. "They even wrote a nice goodbye letter, see?" he raised a muscular arm with a tiny piece of paper between his digits. "_'Thought you wouldn't read this until it was too late. If you think we went to prison you are wrong. Greetings from Hawaii'_!"

"Jorgen! Why didn't you escort them to prison?" demanded the Tooth Fairy.

"Because I didn't want to leave you alone with _him_!" Jorgen snapped, pointing at Wandissimo, who merely smiled and waggled his perfect macho eyebrows.

"You think my mother will be all right?" wondered Cosmo as he returned to his chair.

"Oh, surely," smiled Wanda. "Jorgen did a good job on them. They are so sweet together…"

In the kitchen, kept inside a giant butterfly jar, stood the dessert cake, pink with two wedding figures on top: Cupid and Momma Cosma, both beaten up, though he was smiling.

"Isn't this a corny end, or what?" he asked.

"Oh, _shush_…" she said, and increased her scowl.

Oh, yes… All's well that ends well. Or at least in Private Investigator Turner's thoughts, anyway.

**-o-**

**THE END**

**-o-**


End file.
